“I am sorry” — are just words

           
Writer's sister on the right and niece

                                         

I am no more saying, "I am sorry." Why should I say that for nothing especially when I do no wrong. Years ago I kept on saying sorry just to avoid conflict at all costs because I did not want argument. I was always the first one to say, “I’m sorry," and sometimes I did not even know what I was sorry for. It was because I just wanted the argument to put at a stop.

Most of the time I view saying, “I am sorry” as a sign of humility but there are times saying, “I am sorry” is a way more about me than the other person. In that case it will make things worse, not better.

After saying sorry so often my pride hurts more than my heart. I often get offended for being held accountable and so I apologize, not because I am  remorseful for what I have done but I am more resentful for being caught.

"I am sorry, we do run into problems from time to time."

Saying sorry often fixes the person and not the relationship. I'm more concerned about the person getting over being mad than I am about healing the relationship. When I say I am sorry I hope to fix their dysfunctions rather than resolving  the conflict. I am manipulating the situation with an apology.

There have been so many times I have apologized just to make someone happy. I know if I give in first by saying "sorry" just to get my way and that is the wrong motivation I truly believe now.

Saying sorry to make myself feel better might change my  behaviour for a few days but it would not change my heart. I am not going to overuse the three words any more just for the sake of a person.

I realize that why must i kneel to any person when i did no wrong. A man however old he is must stand as a man when he is standing on a man's ground. As a man I ought not to lower my head to something foolish.

Here is my simple sentence for anyone who is always asking  everybody for an apology, "Work your brain a little harder and always double check before you say someone is in the wrong."

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